Happy Birthday Martha Stewart! Today’s post is dedicated to my best friend, Martha! I know what you are thinking. Jade, does she know she is your best friend and my answer is yes. When I texted her this morning she was so excited to hear from me. She asked me to send her some crawfish and a zydeco cd.
OK. FINE. She doesn’t know we are “best friends” but if we were I would treat her to the best birthday ever, the CAJUN way. I altered the photo below so she could visualize her birthday with me, however the portrait of her and I is legit. If you want to read my story of the first time I met her and watch my episode from the show click here! ENJOY!
Martha’s Cajun Birthday
♥ I would surprise her with eggs for breakfast. I don’t do poached, sorry Martha. I would put a crap load of bacon grease in a magnalite pot and when it starts to boil I would throw her egg in it. This is known as heart attack eggs here. Let me also say these eggs will be from Wal-Mart not my back yard. I guess I would get “organic” for her. I would serve it with a bowl of hot cajun grits. I swear this delightful dish takes bacon, egg and grits to a whole new level. Calories. None.
♥After breakfast I would tell her to put some boots, not Hunter. I prefer white boots known here as Cajun Reebok’s. I would take her to watch the sun rise on a 4-wheeler alongside a mosquito infested swamp. What can I say, we have the prettiest sunrises in Louisiana but it comes at a good cost.
♥ After the sunrise tour I would take her to a mud pit and we would wrestle like pigs. Isn’t mud good for the skin? She would know this.
♥ It’s almost noon at this point so I would take her to a random house of her choice and knock on the door. Yes, the saying is true everyone in Louisiana welcomes you with open arms, unless they don’t have any then they would probably wrap their legs around you. Wondering why we are at a random person’s house? DUH, for lunch! Everyone has rice and gravy cooking on a Sunday. I can’t promise her what kind of meat will be in that gravy but hey, Martha is fond of “delicate” meat so she will be good. Worse case scenario, I will tell her it’s chicken.
♥ After lunch she might be sick. Why? Well because once you eat our rice and gravy you will know what I mean. (wink wink)
♥ When she feels better (after a nap on the random person’s sofa) I will call my long time friend Kristy from Swamp People. Yes, they film it right here in Louisiana. She will take us on a luxurious horse back ride to get to a dock. We would then get in a random boat and go find a gator. Remember everything belongs to everyone here, including the boats. At this point in the day Martha will be sweating profusely because it’s HOT here. The heat “might” make her feel ill since she practically ate greasy eggs for breakfast and random meat for lunch.
♥ At the end of the day I would take her to a random house here, preferably one with a swing in the back yard. You know what kind of swing I am talking about, one like this. I would tell her to plop herself in it and I would push her while watching the sunset. Again, she would be eaten alive by mosquitos but it will be totally worth it. Good news is I am immune to them. She would then BEG me not to leave and adopt me.
I have a feeling when she reads this she will have her assistant book her flight asap. I know this birthday sounds GREAT but this is a 17 star trip so no, I can’t treat everyone to this kind of day. I think we can all agree Martha deserves it! Martha if you are reading this and you need to spruce up your french, check out my cajun dictionary here. Check out this fun video where Martha makes an appearance.
Oh Martha, incase you didn’t know I am one of your 12 Months of Martha bloggers! Come check out all of my crafts here.
Don’t forget to connect on social media! Make sure to use use the hashtag #JADERBOMB on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook so I can keep track of all your awesome creations! HAVE A GLITTERY DAY! ♥, Jade
P.S. If you LOVE printables then check out my site where you can download hundreds of FREE printables!