Wow! I am actually sitting here writing my first blog post of 2015. I am not sure where to begin with this post. 2014 was the HARDEST year of my life. Now, I know what you are thinking… How bad could it have been? BAD, but GOOD. Those two words sound kinda crazy put together but I will say that things get bad before they get good! I have been blogging here in my little glittery home for a few years now. So many great things have happened to me since I started this blog and I will FOREVER be grateful for them. I have met so many wonderful people on this internet journey. Some friends – believe it or not – I have NEVER met yet. It’s funny how I sit here everyday writing things, creating things, crafting, exploring and finding ways to connect with YOU. I feel it’s what I was meant to do.
When I first started this online home of mine I really had NO idea what I was doing. I didn’t have money to hire a web developer, I didn’t have a photographer to take “professional” looking photos. I didn’t have a “team” behind me (except my dog Ceaux Ceaux) but what I did have was PASSION and EXCITEMENT. Those two things can’t be bought and honestly if you don’t have that in this huge internet world you won’t go far.
You are probably wondering how I can say that… Well, I say that because someone across the world reading my blog post can truly tell if I’m being real and sincere. I promised myself that on this journey I would NOT CHANGE WHO I AM to fit the mold of other DIY bloggers. I am a BRIGHT, CRAZYYYYY, WHIMSICAL SOUL and I want everyone reading my blog to KNOW that. So thank you, YES YOU READING THIS RIGHT NOW for coming back for more of my wacky crafts and crazy stories. Let’s move on to what brings me to write this post.
Boy oh boy this is SO true. I told you earlier that 2014 was freaking CRAY CRAY for me and lemme tell you I meant it. I wasn’t happy with myself for a while… If you knew me then you would wonder how could that be. I had the “perfect” life. But then again everyone on the outside always sees that right!!! LOL
I had been in a relationship for 10 years and they were indeed GREAT. I wouldn’t change those 10 years for ANYTHING. They truly made me into who I am today my precious souls. In 2013 I decided I wanted to end the relationship I was in and I knew in my FREAKING GUT it was what needed to happen in order for me to move onto the next level of my life. Did I have ANY idea what this all looked like once it started to unravel? F NO. I mean really, who does! If you do then god bless you! I can look back now and laugh at the fact that I didn’t think it was going to be all that hard. Let’s just say it was. Most people I know have hit hard times in their lives and they are “THAT STINKING CLOSE” to the LIGHT but fear inside of them and sometimes negative sources in their life cause them to go backwards and fall back into pure comfort. Did I ever hit that huge big wall of FEAR, oh yes. But, nothing that came in my path could completely erase the vision I had in my head of what my soul really wanted.
Why was 2014 FREAKING HARD you wonder. Well because what I knew for 10 years was all slowly going away, and lets face it- us humans don’t do well with change, even if its to better ourselves.
My FRIENDS… (minus a few good ones) all stopped talking to me. Shit, I guess they thought I was nuts and sided with my ex. I mean, this is just me purely guessing because honestly I have not talked to some of my friends for over a year now. Yes, these were friends I had been having for 8 or more years. You wonder sometimes how a person who claims to be your friend erases you out if their lives over A DECISION I MADE BECAUSE I WASN’T HAPPY ANYMORE. I don’t know about you but my purpose while I am on EARTH is not to dictate how others should live their life. Aren’t friends “supposed” to support their friends during the HAPPY times and the SAD and DIFFICULT times? I know right now you are like “how could anyone not be friends with you because of a decision YOU made”… My only conclusion is they were NOT STRONG ENOUGH and GOD didn’t want them carrying over onto the next journey in my life. Heck, I am pretty ok with that plus I just say prayers for them that if they ever go through ROUGH and DIFFICULT times that they never have to loose people who they value so much. I even lost people in my family and I am truly sad for them at this point. They face their own demons and that’s their karma to deal with. This portion of 2014 I am finally ok with. Ending that if you are reading this (you know who you are) I am still sending you glittery wishes and prayers of happiness!!!!
My BLOG… 2014 was the year I didn’t give a you know what about my blog. NO! Not on purpose, I love it here. I actually LONGED for it. But days went by where I had no idea what to write, what to create, or even how to craft. Days turned into weeks, then months. I remember one day I finally sat at my computer (which was a HUGE step) and I looked to see the last time I posted something on my blog and my eyes prolly looked like they jumped out of my face. It was over ONE month. If you have been following me or know me you KNOW this is SUPER BAD. I usually post every other day and if I am not writing out blog posts, I am crafting, journaling, editing pictures, editing videos and LOVING LIFE. I remember thinking how could that be possible that it was a month since my last blog post. Then I realized this…. (see below).
My DEPRESSION... Of course I have been in situations before where I was sad or feeling down but real life, true depression is NO joke. I can actually recall times where people around me said they were depressed and I would tell them “just go do something you love or that makes you happy then you will feel better”…Um no – that is not how that works. It’s REAL, TESTING and VERY ALIVE. There were times that I just could not handle anything and it felt like I would NEVER know what it feels like to be ME again. I thought Jade was DEAD. This might be why my blog was not a priority for me. The only thing that I was alive for was my son and everything that fell below that was dead.
So those three things made 2014 super rad (just kidding)! But guess what!!!!!!
Jade is ALIVE more than EVER and thankfully months before 2014 ended I found her. I now know what true friends are and I know what LOVE is. I am IN LOVE with my soul mate and have never been more happy (1901). I am full of glittery love and I am ready to share it all with you in 2015. I have realized so much about ME in this and I have grown to understand so much about life. I am not SAD that I went through all of this because I believe in my universe and my glittery path. I trust the stars and my gut. I trust change. I trust fear and I know that fear is temporary. Which brings me to the next part I want to share with you (yep you need to scroll down a little more, and if you are STILL here reading this, man I want to give you a huge hug that is like an explosion of rainbows).
This year the word I picked to describe me is PHENOMENAL!!!!!!! Yes y’all I am so stupid phenomenal it’s crazy! I am human and have made plenty of mistakes in my life but the only person in the end that can change my vision of myself is ME and I know that my past does NOT DEFINE MY FUTURE! I love all of my JADERBUGS so much and I hope you are ready for some rad things to happen on here! I will be changing some things about my blog and I can’t wait for you to see. So what is YOUR word that describes YOU! Make a vision board and plaster it all over so you can be reminded daily of how amazing you are.
PAIN IS TEMPORARY. TRUST ME.
I also want to share a few songs that got me THROUGH the hard times! Some of these songs played on repeat for weeks and are engraved into my soul now. I am a big believer when it comes to music. If you are going through hard times- message me, connect with me, because I am always here for you especially if NO ONE ELSE IS!
Hope this post wasn’t too sappy…I share SO MUCH with you and I just wanted to share a little bit of REALITY with you because I know I am not the only one that has ever went through things!!! Until my next blog post, xoxo JADE